WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
