im about as happy as oj after his trial
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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