idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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