Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.

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(845): I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick. http://tfl.nu/cye7

Replies (9) Good night (4002) Bad night (633)
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(816): View more from Missouri

If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.

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(816): If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance. http://tfl.nu/qptg

Replies (11) Good night (3149) Bad night (715)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.

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(405): We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed. http://tfl.nu/cgfh

Replies (40) Good night (6303) Bad night (523)
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(315): View more from New York

im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!

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(315): im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone! http://tfl.nu/rzxj

Replies (41) Good night (3159) Bad night (1088)
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(248): View more from Michigan

i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.

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(248): i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding. http://tfl.nu/2d2l

Replies (35) Good night (1582) Bad night (6559)
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(765): View more from Indiana

how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.

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(765): how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/c7jp

Replies (48) Good night (749) Bad night (6143)
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(708): View more from Illinois

so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.

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(708): so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me. http://tfl.nu/mwnt

Replies (58) Good night (14420) Bad night (1289)
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(925): View more from California

I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'

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(925): I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized' http://tfl.nu/3ov3

Replies (14) Good night (4393) Bad night (1209)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.

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(913): Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend. http://tfl.nu/iume

Replies (5) Good night (905) Bad night (2237)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight

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(847): Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight http://tfl.nu/9jn8

Replies (2) Good night (1921) Bad night (591)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.

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(734): I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW. http://tfl.nu/ynr9

Replies (10) Good night (2482) Bad night (530)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it

(501): View more from Arkansas

Then he went and peed on those teenagers.

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(501): I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it (501): Then he went and peed on those teenagers. http://tfl.nu/3fwd

Replies (6) Good night (1109) Bad night (408)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this

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(484): You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this http://tfl.nu/n0b8

Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (282)
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(360): View more from Washington

I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.

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(360): I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar. http://tfl.nu/n37f

Replies (0) Good night (319) Bad night (212)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...

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(609): You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright... http://tfl.nu/5odl

Replies (0) Good night (570) Bad night (410)

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