Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I was literally just a half conscious dildo.

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(903): View more from Texas

Beer Popsicles are better in theory

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(925): View more from California

Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.

(1-925): View more from California

If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way

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(757): View more from Virginia

Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!

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(952): View more from Minnesota

It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.

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