Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it http://tfl.nu/1l0l
  Replies (1) Good night (918) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy http://tfl.nu/dk85
  Replies (6) Good night (904) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him. http://tfl.nu/3ewm
  Replies (20) Good night (2894) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?

  (989): View more from Michigan

  By definition I think it does.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp? (989): By definition I think it does. (810): So this is what it feels like to be all that is man. http://tfl.nu/lu2t
  Replies (33) Good night (3795) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  not the response he usually gets im sure.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college? (1-802): not the response he usually gets im sure. http://tfl.nu/gci3
  Replies (17) Good night (1690) Bad night (3688)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night http://tfl.nu/u1r5
  Replies (29) Good night (1922) Bad night (7265)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever http://tfl.nu/iy56
  Replies (51) Good night (11126) Bad night (1378)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned. http://tfl.nu/dk6w
  Replies (18) Good night (2959) Bad night (1940)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis http://tfl.nu/prx7
  Replies (5) Good night (924) Bad night (2776)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough... http://tfl.nu/8n56
  Replies (6) Good night (928) Bad night (2554)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from? http://tfl.nu/d0ez
  Replies (7) Good night (1251) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high. http://tfl.nu/970w
  Replies (6) Good night (891) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask? http://tfl.nu/uotd
  Replies (2) Good night (712) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him. http://tfl.nu/0htu
  Replies (2) Good night (311) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking http://tfl.nu/lfqo
  Replies (2) Good night (262) Bad night (356)

Randomize