Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
