Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen