Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again http://tfl.nu/4hwy
  Replies (16) Good night (836) Bad night (7886)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow http://tfl.nu/jea1
  Replies (18) Good night (4182) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month http://tfl.nu/d8l1
  Replies (25) Good night (5469) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this... http://tfl.nu/q2aq
  Replies (13) Good night (4257) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now http://tfl.nu/j96j
  Replies (41) Good night (6450) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/yv47
  Replies (26) Good night (1659) Bad night (4382)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it http://tfl.nu/ag4k
  Replies (8) Good night (2687) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant. http://tfl.nu/ofzk
  Replies (24) Good night (2079) Bad night (4025)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe? http://tfl.nu/5w16
  Replies (6) Good night (1487) Bad night (2004)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix. http://tfl.nu/uj3b
  Replies (7) Good night (894) Bad night (1339)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed! http://tfl.nu/rzlj
  Replies (13) Good night (658) Bad night (2358)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too. http://tfl.nu/qk1z
  Replies (10) Good night (1271) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis" http://tfl.nu/qqqf
  Replies (6) Good night (1473) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own? http://tfl.nu/mi3t
  Replies (8) Good night (1972) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard. http://tfl.nu/vbbc
  Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (246)

Randomize