idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high