you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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