ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
