just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
