Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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