Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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