Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
