so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
