Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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