So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
