You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
