Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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