You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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