didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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