ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you