I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.