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Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
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