She announced her abortion via fbk
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
