there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
