I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
