I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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