I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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