Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize