highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
