dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
