Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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