is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
