So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
