Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
