I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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