he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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