I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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