giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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