its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize