i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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