The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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