we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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