it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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