I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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