Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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