Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
