What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
