Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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