you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
