you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
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My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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