Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
