im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sorry about my life...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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