Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
