So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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