I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
