Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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