Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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