yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
