Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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