Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The adults are the big ones right?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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