just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
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he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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