Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦â€â™€ï¸
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
