420 ftw
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
